Tonight, I had the privilege of sharing a short testimony about a Bible study that a group of ladies and I completed.
Last week, my sweet leader of the small group I am in called and asked me to share with the bigger group something that God had done in my life through this study.
Ok, no big deal. I can do that!
Being a pastor’s wife I have had plenty of opportunities to stand before groups and share, but this time was different. WAY different.
Because what my leader didn’t know is that literally one hour before she called me, the Lord and I had a conversation about that particular study, due to my life becoming more hectic over the past few weeks…more than normal.
My daughter’s knee surgery was moved up due to increased pain and swelling, and while she has been home recovering, my son had a speech therapy evaluation. We soon discovered he actually has an auditory processing disorder.
WOW….This is a lot to process and navigate.
Needless to say I am behind on ALL of my studies I have going on.
Now… back to the conversation the Lord and I had regarding this particular book.
I was going over in my mind all of the things I needed to catch up on, and I told the Lord I just really don’t like that study.
(Nothing against the author or the topic! I just didn’t like it.)
Then comes the phone call to share…
Well played, Lord. Well played.
So tonight I stood before the entire group of women, and told them I flat out just didn’t like this book. And then I told them WHY.
The Lord has shown me through this study that somewhere along our relationship, my trust in Him began to slowly diminish.
Over the years I allowed situations, people, and circumstances to dictate my obedience and response to Him and His plan. I am allowing fear to come in and take over.
Here I am, taking things into my own hands.
I turn to others first when testing and trials come my way, instead of making HIM my first priority. The Lord reminded me of how he has so graciously and generously provided for us over the past few years since my husband’s accident.
For a while there was literally not one Sunday that went by where someone wasn’t placing a gift or offering in our hands, showing up at our door with groceries, mowing our lawn for a year, and even sending checks in the mail, sometimes anonymously.
I realized I had been looking for God to provide for and take care of us the way I knew how He already had, but God is wanting me to stretch, trust, and believe Him for even bigger, greater, and better.
Ways that I can’t even imagine or fathom.
Things I have yet to see Him do.
People we have yet to meet and places we have yet to go.
Sometimes what we think we want and what we think we need are two very different things. I have to quit trying to figure out how God is going to take care of us and just TRUST that HE WILL.